I think if I had to blog now I'd never get to the end. To many things are running through my head.
I didn't want to give up "my time" (as Mommy always liked to call it), so I managed to unintentionally deeply offend my host family. Normal behavior to me in the states is not normal behavior in Wales. And since I've been on mission trips before I have no excuse for being upset that someone in a different land expected me to follow their ways of life (I'm not talking spiritually here. I don't give up my God for nobody.) while I'm in their country. I've learned this lesson many times before. I think that here it's so much like the States I forget that I'm in a different country. In this society if you sleep till 9am or later it's called a "lay in" (sleeping in for Americans).
I'm not a morning person for those of you that haven't had the pleasure of talking/seeing me first thing in the morning. I have gotten a lot better since the time I lived with my Auntie Missile. {Valerie, if you think I'm bad now talk to anyone in the Jerry and Michelle Wheeler family and compare stories.} I'm a work in process. My theory is until I can talk to people nicely and mean it in the mornings I don't leave my room. Normally at least thirty minutes after waking up. Anyway, since I didn't know the whole 9am thing it appeared that I was sleeping half the day away. When in fact I was sleeping until 9-9:30am, waking up for thirty minutes, doing my quite time and Bible study, then working on some class work before I came down stairs. Not a good idea when you're in someone else's house and they get up around 7-7:30am.
After finding all this out God very gently told me that I was going to have to start getting up earlier on those days that I'm not up and out of the house by 8am. And not just waking up earlier but going down stairs and hanging out with my host family before starting my day. Not a single fiber in my body wanted to do this, and I told God this as well. He made me, and He knew I didn't like interacting with anyone except Him first thing. I don't like people when I first get up. I told Troy and Rob about the situation and they said the same thing God said, and they asked me a question. "Do you want to learn the lesson now or do you want to have to go through another ordeal like this again someday down the road?" Ok, so I don't remember either one of them saying that exact question but that's what I got out of the conversation.
I decided that God always knows best, whether or not I care to admit or acknowledge it. Getting sharpened by God really hurts! But I'm (we're) so much better for it! It's not... that....bad...... to see.... people in the ....morning. I've never liked seeing people first thing and it's a little unnerving to me to not be having such a problem with it anymore. It's not like me to be, dare I say, happy to see people in the morning right when I wake up.
God's really tearing down a lot of pride in my life. Pride that for the most part I didn't know that I had. Pride that has been masquerading as stubbornness for a long time. Is stubbornness the same thing as pride? Or is it that because of our pride we become stubborn? I love life! It's always changing.....wait it's not always changing, I'm always changing. God's changing me everyday. So much of our lives are based on perception. That's the part of us that really changes and allows us to grow. Once we gain the God's eye perspective we start to see things the way they are intended. That's when you start loving people like Christ loves us all. The hardest part about changing is not the changing itself it's all the stuff that God has to throw at us to make us "wake up" and realize we're seeing things wrong.
And so ends another very long entry by yours' truly. I just want to thank you all for your prayers. They have done a great deal in my life during the past 41 days. I love you each for the person that you are and the person that God's says you're going to be! I challenge you to look into your life and see what's holding you back. What is pride/stubbornness telling you not to give up to God? And know that there's so much genuine joy on the other side of truly giving it to God so that He can mold you.
Missing and love you all like crazy,
~Stella