S-T-R-E-T-C-H

Ok so if you want the run down of the past two days see Robert's journal, today's post is going to be serious and directed a little more towards God. Not to worry fun posts will return shortly. Thank you for your prayers and understanding during this transition in my posts.

Stretching hurts. During our orientation it was discover that I personally couldn't care less about the news. This is something I've never hidden. I also don't like to debate on political views, because yet again I care nothing about politics. I mostly don't care about them because I know nothing about them. I'm learning that this is not necessarily a good thing. We were told to watch the news or read the newspaper everyday while we are here. Stella doesn't do either of those. The most I do is read headlines every now and then. Father, open me up to do all things asked of me.

All of you that really know me know that I don't like to argue. I gave that up when I was a junior in high school. If it's not about something Biblical I'm not going to debate you on it. What's the point if it doesn't affect whether you or I go to heaven or hell? If debating over something is going to change how I or someone else can get to heaven or hell, I'm all for it. Otherwise, in my opinion, debating is pointless and a horrible waste of time. I'm not going to change your mind by telling you the same thing over and over. I can only tell you what I know or believe and it's up to you to change your mind. And it's up to God to change your heart.

I guess at the heart of the matter, I don't like it when I'm corrected in front of people. And yesterday felt like I was being singled out, and I hate that feeling. My first response to that feeling is to immediately close myself off and basically clam up. After a really long day and a half I was able to realize that I wasn't singled out to be singled out, I just happened to be the only one in the room that didn't get what was going on, and I was corrected fully in love with the hopes of me understanding and becoming a part of the conversation.

BCM folks I can't tell you how depressed I was when I went to bed last night. Purely because I didn't want to hear what God said unless is was in my favor. I didn't want to open back up. I wanted to have a pity party and give up and come home. Like that would have solved anything. It would have only added to my problem. I've never really had a thick skin when it comes to someone correcting me, it always hurts my feelings no matter how it's done. I actually cried last night before I fell asleep. I don't like being center of attention when I'm being corrected, it hurts my feelings more than anything, and I know that it shouldn't be like that, but it is. I say all that to say this. Thank you Valerie for calling me at 3 am so that I could talk to you and all you BCM people. Talking to you guys really encouraged me to buck up and get over it. God used that phone conversation to keep me from making a huge mistake and leaving Wales. I was to the point that I just wanted to do the Stella thing and pack up and get out of Dodge.

I'm sorry that tonight's blog wasn't super silly like normal. I just felt I needed to share that with you all. I want to share with you all that I learn here, so maybe one day you guys won't make the stupid mistakes that I make. The lesson in this is when you feel wronged by anybody check your perspective maybe things are not as they seem. You'd of thought I learned that already. God showed me that while I was in East Asia just last month. We must always apply what we learn otherwise it was taught in vain. I love you all very much. Pray that I will be bold and strong in God so that I may learn, stretch, and grow while I'm here.

~Stella

Ps. One by one all of you go to Mrs. Joyce and give her a big hug from me. Tell her that I love her, every time you hug her.