Needing Something But What?

I feel as though I've missed a step, and i'm not sure where. I was walking along life and somewhere I went down a wrong path. Now I must find that wrong turn and correct my path.

My new job as a GM is not all that I dreamed it to be. I'm struggling to have a life apart from work. I was told before beginning that it's a lifestyle not a job. That's a very accurate statement.

A very close friend once described me as a gypsy. I laughed at that when she said it. I have since come to realize she was very close to nailing the real me. I don't like doing the same thing day in and day out. I hate it. I long for adventure. I long for new things; ideas, places, and people. Anyone know of a way to make a living doing that?

Part of me wants to go running away from my life at a breakneck speed. That other part is far to responsible to do that.

The biggest weight in my fleeing is that I'm in love with someone. And I don't want to leave him. He and my family are the two things I don't want to flee from.

I can feel myself wasting my life, but can't find what I could do to NOT be wasting my life.

God draw near to me and show me where it was that I screwed everything up. At one time I knew without a doubt that I was in the center of Your will and now I'm looking around and I know I'm not there in that place anymore. I know that You've continued to show favor on my life and work despite the that I'm not where I need to be. I thank You for that! i miss You. help me.

The Word Effect

I love reading. I love to be transported to different places and times. I love new ideas that are brought about by reading. If something is well written it has the same effect on me as great classical music. It almost has the ability to put me in a trance-like state until something from the "real world" disrupts my alternate reality. With books or anything written, it takes a lot more to pull me out of the trance. I'm finding that I do the same thing with movies. Movies are great to do that to, the only problem with movies is that they leave you in one emotion at the end. I have to chose carefully. More rambling to come on a different day.