Ben and Sam

Today I got to babysit two of the greatest kids in the world...Ben and Sam Burns. They are Rob and Jenny's two youngest boys. We had a blast! We played football (soccer) Monopoly for like three hours, had lunch, and then played in the park. It was the first time I'd been on a swing in a few years. I had forgotten how much fun they were. We had so much fun! Sam is just the funniest little 6 year old I've met in a while. And Ben is right there with him. Ben's 9 years old. Spending the day with the two of them really made me miss Valerie and Marty. They have the same bond as them two. I love you two! Well other than spending the day with them nothing else really happened. When I finished babysitting I went to the church for our weekly staff meeting, and then hung out with Robert and Josh until I finally made one of them walk me home. And now I'm writing this and going to bed. It's been a really fun but really long day! I love you all, and I thank you for all your many prayers. They are needed everyday!

~Stella

God You're AWESOME!

So we gave the kids a week to think about whether or not they wanted to come on Sunday nights and learn more about God. We told them if they wanted to learn to come this Sunday and if they didn't want to then they should stay home. No hard feelings either way. I must admit I thought tonight we'd only have one of the guys come back. Boy was I ever wrong! All four of them returned and Lewis brought a friend with him. God showed out!

We had a great time with the boys. Even though one of them was sent home in the first ten minutes and Lewis was asked to leave during the last five minutes. We still got through to them. It was a great feeling! When they we were all sitting there talking about God and how they felt about Him...... I can't tell you how excited I was just to be sitting in that room. God, You really moved me tonight. Thank You for each one of those boys. I pray that You will keep speaking into Thibawni's life. Forgive me for not being able to spell his name. Keep drawing all of them to Your side. I really saw the spark of hunger stir in a couple of the boys. I pray that You would reveal Yourself to Aaron. He needs You Father. Show Him Your love and forgiveness. Thank You for bringing them all back this week. Thank You for allowing me to be there to experience it all. Thank You for Robert. Father give us both strength to continue and finish this task that You've given us. Reveal to us what You want us to do. I love You and praise You for all that You are and all You have done for me/us! Thank You! Amen!

I can't wait until I get back home. There is so much I want to share with all of you that I just can't on here. If I was to even try it would wind up being the world's longest post! I miss you guys! Send pictures of yourself and others that I know to stella879@gmail.com. I love getting pictures in my inbox, it makes it like you're just down the street and not across the giant pond! I love you all dearly! You've made my life so much better. Thank You, God, for all of the friends You have given to me! Keep them safe and comfort them always!

~Stella

the best day ever...

Yesterday was the best day ever! I spent the whole day by myself. It was good for me. Most of you know how time doing things by yourself can be great. If you don't know, you should take a day and be by yourself. And don't just sit at home go walk around town, through a park, around a castle. Stop and experience life and all that God's done in your life.

I woke up. Spent time with my host family over a cup of coffee. Got dressed and headed to the bus stop to meet Robert and Josh. There was no Robert or Josh, so I sent them text messages. Then came the replies that I had misunderstood the plan. Since I was already up and dressed I decided I'd just go to City Centre and walk around. On my way to town I saw Josh. After talking for a bit he decided that he would go to library and possibly go on the tour of the castle with me after my LTG with Kellie. Onward I went. I love "people watching," and the best place to do that here is in City Centre.

I was going to go walk around on the grounds of Cardiff Castle, but on the way there I saw this park. It was right next to the castle and appeared to have at one time been a part of the castle grounds. I walked in, took a little path to the right, and just let my imagination run wild. I really love the renaissance era! So of course I was imagining being Lady Stella on her morning walk through the woods. After spending some time there Lady Stella decided to go check on things in the castle.

The city of Cardiff had its' 100th birthday yesterday. (I think Cardiff has been on this earth for a lot longer, but it was officially declared a city 100 years ago.) Because it was Cardiff's birthday to walk around the castle grounds was free. You only had to pay for the tour, which took you to places inside the main building that you're not allowed in otherwise.

When I entered the castle I can't tell you all the things that went through my mind. It was almost like the feeling of being home. (I'm such a sap!) I starting walking toward the Keep and noticed that a little faint rainbow was starting to form on the left side. By the time I took my camera out it was beautiful. There sat the keep, which as normal keeps go, sat up on a hill and encircling behind it was this beautiful rainbow. Can you see it? It was picture perfect. It felt like God was telling me, "Good morning and welcome to My kingdom." As soon as I get the film developed I'll put them on here. I spent two hours all together walking around the park and the castle. Me and God did some talking during those two hours.

Then it was time for LTG at Kellie's flat. She had cooked lunch (yea for me! something else free). We talked over lunch, and I really got slapped in the face with the fact that she's not going to be here next week. Her two years here are finished. I'm really going to miss her. We have really bonded in the seven weeks I've been here. I have to find another girl to have LTG with. I want to ask you all to pray for Kellie. Unless you've been on mission you may not fully understand what it's like to come home after, but you can still pray.
God, help Kellie not to become bitter with her home church. I know she's going to have a lot of things that are going to hit her all at once. I pray that You would give her the strength to deal with them. Ease her culture shock of being in the states again. Help her to find her rhythm quickly. I pray that she would turn to You during these times and keep You as the centre. Don't let her get swept away. Give her family understanding. Let them be willing to give her comfort when she needs it. I pray that they would be an encouragement to her and not a hindrance during this process. Keep her safe and near You always! Thank You for the time I got to spend with her. Thank You for using her in my life. I love You, Father! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

After LTG I talked to the guys and found that they were not coming, so I went back to the castle and took the tour. Since it was Cardiff's birthday everyone got special rates to take the tour. For students (like me) it was £4. Once inside the castle, I really fell in love. The last owners of the castle decorated most of the rooms with a mediaeval/renaissance flair. I was not allowed to take pictures inside, so if you want to know details ask me when I get back. Don't worry, I don't think I'll ever forget what those rooms looked like. After the tour I headed into the Centre to the bus station.

On my way to the station I got the urge to see a film. So off I went to see what was playing. When I got to thecinemaa it was 3:50pm. There was nothing showing at that time that I wanted to see. I decided to see a film called Nanny McPhee. It didn't start till 5pm so I walked down the street a bit and got a sandwich till time to be back. When I got in the theatre I was amazed at the seats we got to sit in. They were like seats taken out of someone's car (the backseat, cause they don't recline)! The film was pretty funny, I liked it! Emma Thompson starred in it and she also wrote the screenplay for the film. I was highly impressed to find that out. After the film I went by the ticket counter and bought three tickets to the 12:05am showing of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire!!! Here all the (car) seats are numbered/lettered like in a real theatre. And the lady at the counter told me that on the night of the HP film everyone will be shown to their seats. I can't wait!!

Anyway after all that I headed to GBC to see Robert and Josh. I met Josh on my way, he was headed back to his church for his weekly youth group. I got to the church and saw Robert, checked my email, and reviewed our plans for tomorrow (today). Then I headed home. I got home and Andy, Sharon, and I watched Hitched. Then I took my worn out self up the stairs and off to sleep. It was a great day! And now I've been blessed with today!

I love you guys! And I miss you all very much!
~Stella

Rugby !!!!

Cardiff Blues Win !!!!!
I knew I forgot to tell you guys something the other day. On Saturday Reese, a deacon from GBC, took me and Robert to a rugby match. It was between the CARDIFF BLUES and the Leeds Tykes. It was the greatest match I've ever seen!! Cardiff was getting trampled the first half. I guess I shouldn't say trampled cause they had possession of the ball for most of it they just kept messing up and letting Leeds score. The second half the Blues battled back hard and just ran all over the Tykes. It was great! Needless to say again but the Blues won 40 to 17 (I think?! I knew I should have written it down!). If you've never seen a rugby match I highly advise that you go see one, they are so much fun.

Oh and also I'm singing in a Christmas choir here in Cardiff called St.David's praise. We practice every Monday night. We are performing on December 3. Once in the afternoon and once in the evening at St. David's. Jackie wanted me to sing with her and Lorraine (they sing alto), but I told them I didn't think I knew how to sing like a girl. The people in charge of the choir said it was ok for me to sing my normal Tenor. I can't tell you how relieved I was when the lady told me that. I am the only woman Tenor in the choir. So there's no pressure there! It's just like in Dadeville! The funniest part was when the lady in charge thing said that women Tenors were found more in the States than here in the UK. Oh well, I guess I'm acting all American again! LOL

Anyway, I hope you all have a great week and that you all find a way to serve God this week! God and I love you very much (He loves you way more I promise!) !!

~Stella

Youth are.....

All I know to do is pray. Father, if these are the youth we are to pour our lives into, I pray that You would open their hearts to.....well I guess that is pretty stupid to finish. God their hearts should be open to You not to what we would tell them. I don't understand what You want us to do, but I'll keep going forward until You tell me to stop. Give me direction. Which way is the way You want us to go. I fear that we jumped before You wanted us to. That or You wanted them to realize exactly how serious this all is. They were showing such promise. Forgive me for not praying enough. I give these youth back to You for they are Yours. Please don't give up on them! I know they need You, even if they don't fully understand how much yet. Give me a peace about all this and what it is You want me to do.

I hope you all are having a great weekend. Don't forget I miss you all and love you even more!

~Stella

laaa la laaa la laa la

My brain hurts. I did an hour and a half worth of homework and because I'm a moron I got to do it all over again. I just love it when that happens. Because I can never remember exactly how I wrote it the first time, so it drives me crazy that the first time was prob better. Of course because I had to redo this one question I discovered that it was kinda a trick question so that made me use my little brain even more. I love to figure things out. It's fun! But it hurts my brain if I do it for a long period of time.

Well, I guess that's it for now. God, thank You for all that You've been teaching me about worship and what it means to really worship You. You are so cool. And You have this ability to be so complex at times and then so simple in the same moment that it takes my breath away when I study about You. I love You! Take care of my family and friends! I hope that one day they'll get to meet You if they haven't already. Father, for the ones that do know You reveal something cool to them. I pray that each of them would have a moment everyday where You just take their breath away by something they've never seen or heard about You before. Thank You for everything You've done with and thru me during my time here. Forgive me for my whining. I know that even though it hurts to get sharpened You are getting all the glory for it in the end. Thank You for sharpening me somewhere that there are so many people to pour themselves and all You've taught them into me. You have perfect timing! I love You! Thank You for hearing my prayers. Bless this part of Your church, Father, strengthen them. Take their fear away. Allow them to see that they are being deceived, and that to grow they must change. Amen.

I love and miss all of you guys!! I'm hear for you if you need me. I'm just an email away!

~Stella

Ps. Ginny Humber if you haven't done so already.... check your facebook messages. Know that what happened and what you thought happened with your comment are two different things. I love you and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea!

Pps. I love you Mommy! I love you Daddy! I like you Valerie (inside joke)! I love you Marty! I miss everyone of you more and more everyday. Know that I'm thinking about you and praying for you everyday, even though I don't get to call you everyday and tell you. Mom and Dad, I thank you for all that you two have taught and keep teaching me. Thank you for showing me God. He is the greatest gift you could have given to me ( and to Valerie and Marty as well). Thank you for standing behind me, even when you didn't want to, and trusting that God knew what He was doing. It means the world to me that you can let me go to do God's work. Thank you for being that faithful to Him. May He continue to bless you always! Thank you Valerie, for putting up with a psycho sister like me. Thank you for "running" the apartment while I'm here. I'll never be able to repay you for that, but I'm gonna sure try when I get back. Marty, thank you for showing me that I was wrong to ever worry about you sticking to your faith in God. I'm so proud of you for standing firm in your faith even though you've moved out on your own. Thank you both (V&M) for not just being my little "children" and my siblings but for being two of my most valued friends! I love you four more than I'll ever be able to tell you or show you in my lifetime!

There was a point.

So here I sit pondering why do I even bother? I know the answer to that though. Because God said for me to. My only "job" tonight was to come up with an activity that had to do about peer pressure. The lesson Robert was teaching was about the peer pressure that Rack, Shack, and Benny faced when they were asked to bow before a huge idol. {No, those are not the Biblical names. Those are the Veggie Tales Names. So sue me, I needed a laugh just now!}

Well, my activity went like this: I didn't allow anybody into the room until everybody was here. I told them to go in and do the worksheet that was on the table. I had set up one of the very low children's tables with colouring sheets and crayons. I wanted it to appear that I wanted them to sit at that table and colour. It worked. There was a lot of grumbling, but eventually one boy sat down and the rest followed suit. I left the room for a bit to see if they would really start colouring. I came back and all but one of the boys had started colouring. My plan was to wait it out to see how long it would take him to "cave in" and start colouring. And then start asking questions about why he finally started colouring even though he didn't want to.

Just as he(A) did start colouring, one of the other boys(B) said he was finished. Well B got up and starting playing with a football (soccer ball for those of you in the states). So, I majorly "dropped the ball" by focusing my attention on on boy B instead of boy A. Then it all snowballed from there. The two boys starting arguing about how B should listen to me when I asked him to stop playing and sit down. Then just mass chaos ensued. I lost control of all four of the boys. At which point I went and told Robert to start his lesson because I was getting no where. While they were with Robert I went and prayed for peace.

This assignment is proving to be harder and harder every time we do something. There's no discipline in any of the boys. I don't know if that's because of their parents discipline style at home or just a pure disrespect of "authority figures." Either way, I'm learning more and more that teaching is not for me. I have no patience with kids that don't have some basic idea of how to do what an adult in charge tells them to do. Is that something that can be learnt?

Man, every time here lately I've blogged I've been upset. I not that miserable. Things with my host family are much better. We haven't had a talk about it yet, but both sides appear to be happy. I'm interacting with them as much as possible. I talk to them more. I see them more. I'm not in my room anywhere near as much. So, I'm taking that as a good sign. Thank You, for helping me come out of my shell, God. At times it's a bit scary, but I know You're right there with me. Thank You.

I love you guys! I miss you all!

~Stella

Sharpening the Stella

I think if I had to blog now I'd never get to the end. To many things are running through my head.

I didn't want to give up "my time" (as Mommy always liked to call it), so I managed to unintentionally deeply offend my host family. Normal behavior to me in the states is not normal behavior in Wales. And since I've been on mission trips before I have no excuse for being upset that someone in a different land expected me to follow their ways of life (I'm not talking spiritually here. I don't give up my God for nobody.) while I'm in their country. I've learned this lesson many times before. I think that here it's so much like the States I forget that I'm in a different country. In this society if you sleep till 9am or later it's called a "lay in" (sleeping in for Americans).

I'm not a morning person for those of you that haven't had the pleasure of talking/seeing me first thing in the morning. I have gotten a lot better since the time I lived with my Auntie Missile. {Valerie, if you think I'm bad now talk to anyone in the Jerry and Michelle Wheeler family and compare stories.} I'm a work in process. My theory is until I can talk to people nicely and mean it in the mornings I don't leave my room. Normally at least thirty minutes after waking up. Anyway, since I didn't know the whole 9am thing it appeared that I was sleeping half the day away. When in fact I was sleeping until 9-9:30am, waking up for thirty minutes, doing my quite time and Bible study, then working on some class work before I came down stairs. Not a good idea when you're in someone else's house and they get up around 7-7:30am.

After finding all this out God very gently told me that I was going to have to start getting up earlier on those days that I'm not up and out of the house by 8am. And not just waking up earlier but going down stairs and hanging out with my host family before starting my day. Not a single fiber in my body wanted to do this, and I told God this as well. He made me, and He knew I didn't like interacting with anyone except Him first thing. I don't like people when I first get up. I told Troy and Rob about the situation and they said the same thing God said, and they asked me a question. "Do you want to learn the lesson now or do you want to have to go through another ordeal like this again someday down the road?" Ok, so I don't remember either one of them saying that exact question but that's what I got out of the conversation.

I decided that God always knows best, whether or not I care to admit or acknowledge it. Getting sharpened by God really hurts! But I'm (we're) so much better for it! It's not... that....bad...... to see.... people in the ....morning. I've never liked seeing people first thing and it's a little unnerving to me to not be having such a problem with it anymore. It's not like me to be, dare I say, happy to see people in the morning right when I wake up.

God's really tearing down a lot of pride in my life. Pride that for the most part I didn't know that I had. Pride that has been masquerading as stubbornness for a long time. Is stubbornness the same thing as pride? Or is it that because of our pride we become stubborn? I love life! It's always changing.....wait it's not always changing, I'm always changing. God's changing me everyday. So much of our lives are based on perception. That's the part of us that really changes and allows us to grow. Once we gain the God's eye perspective we start to see things the way they are intended. That's when you start loving people like Christ loves us all. The hardest part about changing is not the changing itself it's all the stuff that God has to throw at us to make us "wake up" and realize we're seeing things wrong.

And so ends another very long entry by yours' truly. I just want to thank you all for your prayers. They have done a great deal in my life during the past 41 days. I love you each for the person that you are and the person that God's says you're going to be! I challenge you to look into your life and see what's holding you back. What is pride/stubbornness telling you not to give up to God? And know that there's so much genuine joy on the other side of truly giving it to God so that He can mold you.

Missing and love you all like crazy,
~Stella

STRETCHING....

sdflkjasdlfksdlkfjsldkfj

PRAY NOW !!

Whatever you're doing right now stop. Start praying for me and my host family. I'm possibly changing families again, for reasons I will not put on the world wide web. Nothing major just different opinions on important issues.

Congrats are in order for my cousin Jason and his wife Hannah. God has blessed them again with a little girl. She was born today. When I get the correct spelling of her name I'll tell you what it is. Please pray for them and their new arrival. Mother and child are doing good.

I love you all and goodnight.

~Stella

Ps. Is anyone reading my journal from East Asia? Just need to know how fast I should be posting them.

Sardines!

I learned today that Maisy Mouse and her friends play the game of Sardines. That made me laugh a little and cry a little. Why the crying? Because we always play Sardines at the BCM....sob sob.

Hey, stop laughing at me..... You know they don't call me the drama queen for nothing! Today was a very relaxing day for me. I enjoyed having the day to myself. Just me and God. And Kellie was a part of it for a few hours. We all start The Purpose Driven Life today. I'm looking forward to it. Please continue to pray for God to reveal to me if I'm suppose to stay or not. If I'm staying I need money to appear. If I'm leaving I need Financial Aide to get it right this time.

I love and miss all of you people! Follow God always!!

~Stella

hmmm ok

I love you guys! I'm completely tired now, so I think I'm going to go lay down. I went and saw "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." I was very disappointed. :( Sandy, your high school put on better productions! It was a sad sad day for Drama majors and drama lovers everywhere. It was my first time seeing this musical, so I was a little upset that it was done so poorly. The only thing it did for me was make me want to see it done right. JSU drama department, Hugh Hef was better than this performance. Anyway, love to you all, and goodnight.

Stella

Question for everyone.

Baptism in the Holy Spirit.
Your thoughts, feelings, teachings and/or findings?

If you would feel more comfortable send your answer by email to stella879@gmail.com Any and all feedback is read with an open mind, not a judgmental one.

Stella

mmmm.........

ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!
That is all.
Stella

Swirling vertex of death !!

Last night was fun, hanging out with the all the Connect students. The car lift home was a little to much fun (hence the blog title today). No we didn't wreck or anything like that, it was just fun.

I'm doing a lot better than last week. Last week was not fun by any means, but yesterday I talked with Kellie and things are going good now. It such a blessing to have someone my age here that I can talk to. This place has been hard to get a handle on, because it's so different than where I've been. Coming here after being in East Asia for a month threw me for a loop. I went from one extreme to the other. I went from being in a place that nobody spoke my language, so I was forced to totally rely on God and nothing else. It was just me and God. It was great. Life is so easy and fulfilling when you spend a lot of quality alone time with Him. And yes I meant to say easy, because when it's just you and God it doesn't matter what the devil and his minions are throwing at you. It doesn't affect you the same way that it does when you have a casual relationship with God.

Thus my troubles here. Everyone here speaks my language (even though it sounds a little funny at times and they use words in different ways so that I don't always know what in the world they are talking about) here. I have a mentor (which because I'm a huge slacker I haven't met with yet. Hey, I'm working on it!), I have an LTG group (that right now is just me and Kellie), I have all the teachers at connect ready, willing, and offering support, I have Robert, I have Troy and Cheryl ready to help me, and I've got almost the whole Grangetown Baptist Church available to help me if I need it. With all this support who needs God?

Who needs God?.....um.... that'd be ME!!!!! Since I've been here I've left Him out of the equation. Not all the way, but from talking and studying with Him almost 24/7 while I was in East Asia it feels like He's not here. I know that He's here I just haven't paid Him much attention. And as a direct consequence I got extremely stressed out and confused and was to the point of packing it all up and coming home (like letting Satan win was the right answer to my problems!). And I was so far gone that I couldn't even see that the problem was that I had cut off my life support, God. And I want the people who are praying for me to know something, "It was ONLY thru YOUR PRAYERS that God was able to open my eyes to what I had been doing!" God used Rob (Connect director) to encourage me to take the stress, I had put on myself about class and the youth group, off. God used Troy to comfort Robert with his letter, and when Robert posted it I read it and God spoke to me. And then as the finale (sp by Joshua) God used Kellie as a means for me to talk the whole situation out and really bond with Kellie. Kellie's struggles her first year here in Wales were the same as mine were last week.

I want to ask that all of you pray that I will start turning to God more. And spending time with Him more. Pray for Robert as he is continually being attacked. Satan is using Robert's family against him in many different ways. Pray for Hannah (one of the computer club kids) she reappeared at computer club last Tuesday and being gone for a while. Pray that she would keep asking questions and getting to know me. We're building a relationship right now. Pray that she'll get involved with a youth group. As much as I'd like her to be a part of this one I don't feel it's that important where so much as it's important for her to be involved in a church and learning that Christ loves her for who she is. I love you all so much! And thank you for your prayers, please don't stop!

~Stella