Analysts at 2am

I find that some of my best analysts on life come at 2am. It’s now 2:31am and here is what’s on my mind. I need to learn how to share what’s on my mind better. The biggest thing I have to do is learn how to share my thoughts when I have them and not wait till they build up. When they build up and finally come out, they never come out right. They get all jumbled up and come out all mixed up and nobody understands where I’m coming from.

I was told once by a prophet that I see and know a lot more than I share. I told that man that he was very right. After talking to someone for a while, I can see their “two sides” (as I’ll call it). I can see the kind of warrior for Christ they could be, if they were to choose that path. And I can the flesh person that they are/will be if they choose the worldly path. It has been known to be a very creepy thing at times. When you meet someone for the first time and you can feel the evil in/around their life it’s kind of creepy. I have met some people that are as nice a person as you’d ever want to meet, but been turned off by them because of the evil present in their life.

I never knew what to do with that kind of revelation until here lately. When people ask me what I think, I have to ask God’s permission before divulging that kind of information.

Speaking the truth in love is hard to do sometimes. I used to avoid it all together, but God’s showing me when and where to speak truth into other people’s lives. He also tells me when I need to take my own advice. Which is funny to me when that happens because the advice I give comes from God in the first place, but He doesn’t say take His advice, He tells me to take my advice. What can I say, God knows me to well.

God’s wisdom is complete. He knows that sometimes we like to think something was our own idea, when in fact it was His idea. Of course when we figure that out we should totally turn around and give the glory and thanks to God.

I think or rather I know that I would be completely content just to sit around and do nothing but learn about God all day. That’s always been a plus to doing mission work. The entire time I’m on the field I’m learning about God. That want to know more about Him and be closer to Him always puts seminary in my mind. I just don’t know if that’s something that is as fun and fascinating as I hope it would be. Me and schooling have never really gotten along unless it’s been hands on. This is sad at times, because I’m sure there are things out there that I need to know, but I just can’t sit in a class and listen all day. It bores me to tears.

High School was a perfect example of that. In my last two years at DHS I went to the trade school. That school was made for students like me. It’s 10% lecture and 90% hands on application. So needless to say I had almost a 100 average in my Modern Tech Electronics class while back at DHS I was barely passing my applied physics class. And for those of you who don’t know, those two classes are almost interchangeable at times (so I should have had an A in both).

The mission field is like a hands-on application of Sunday school when you really think about it. Sunday school is the lecture part, and going on mission is the application part. And that’s how everyone should know that missions is for them (here or abroad). Sunday school and sermons get you knowledgeable about the field and the act of going, but it’s not until you actually apply what you know that it takes root in your life. With out ever knowing what it’s like on the field all you can do is imagine. You can’t fully understand until you’ve been there yourself.

And yes, everyone’s experience on the field is different, but it’s still an up-close encounter with God, and NOTHING can compare to that wonderment. Nothing on this planet can get you to that feeling. It’s something that can only be experienced in person. And man, it is so worth it!